10¢ Cheap!	THE
		™	AWESOME ISSUE #12
	NEWSLETTER	MARCH 2010

HI, Pierre here with a helpful hit: I can't imagine life without my carpet tape-- I don't use it for carpet though, I use it for everything I own-- can't find your car keys? Next time, stick them to your girlfriend with carpet tape! Can't find your girlfriend? Find the guy she's been cheating on you with, and stick her to him with carpet tape! Can't find him? Look in the break room at the local UPS store-- oh yes, he'll be there! They both will be! Thanks, carpet tape!

I want to go back to basics and talk a little bit about some MP3s I downloaded the other day-- one of the great things about technology these days is that you can find rare tracks-- since I think I have somewhat eclectic tastes, I'd like to comment on the 1975 classic Stevie Wonder\Rick James\Dionna Warwick CD, "Three's a Crowd." These cuts are both 'sick' AND 'slick--' fantastic grooves by Hugh White on bass-- he really has to be commended. The writing is top notch too, and the whole thing is pulled together masterfully by producer Rab Housand, who has an arsenal of amazing musicians on board with him, Pad Ysoult and Jab Rett (yes, that's his actual real name) who perform various other instruments-- on "Salt The Fries" they actually play garden rakes and remote control clickers-- it has to be heard to be believed. And the point is, this is a VERY overlooked CD, it came out at a time right before disco rocked the airwaves, and when acts like Janis Joplin were completely obsolete. Anyway, if you can find it, it's totally worth it to illegally download it.

OK, so on our latest CD, Rick drew the best stone and got the interlude with the jokes. That's totally too bad, since my jokes are very funny, but that's up for the judge in my upcoming sexual harassment case to decide.

Anyway, a landlord is trying to get his month's rent from a tenant who is past due. He goes up to the person and says "WHERE'S MY MONEY?" The person responds, "I don't have any money... but, I can give you something 'special' if you think that *might* work...." The landlord looks at the very unattractive, cross-eyed, elderly woman and says "No! You're going to court!" The next day, the landlord goes to another tenant who owes him money, he knocks on the door, and when answered, yells "WHERE'S MY MONEY?" The person, a balding middle aged man in a sweaty T-shirt says "I don't have any money... but, I can give you something 'special' if you think that *might* work..." The landlord yells "You're disgusting! Not in a million years! You're going to court!" That afternoon he realizes how desperate he is for all of the rent checks he's not getting, so he decides to start checking in on all his tenants to make sure they are going to pay him. He heads up to the top story of his property, and rings the buzzer. An extremely attractive blonde answers the door. The landlord yells "WHERE'S MY MONEY?" The woman responds, "I don't know what you're talking about! I'm paid for the whole year!" This incenses the landlord, who enters her apartment and begins throwing all of her personal affects around, smashing many of them. He screams "YOU'RE GONNA GO TO COURT!!!" The woman yells back "No, you're messing with the wrong person. My name is Anna Kournikova, and I'm going to sue you.... I'M going to take YOU to court!" The man responds, "Damn you're fine, I hope you're talking about a TENNIS court!"